


The Virgin

by OthilaOdal



Category: Death Note
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Identity, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 11:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OthilaOdal/pseuds/OthilaOdal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt hears rumors about his best friend's adult endeavors and decides to confront him. The result unfolds secrets they had both been keeping from each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Virgin

Puberty is a bitch. Your height takes off like a tree. Your voice gets heavy. Hair seems to grow where you don't want it to and your penis does weird things. Did I manage to break the ice or did this conversation get a little too awkward for you?

Either way it barely matters, because I'm going to talk whether you like it or not.

My own experience with puberty was a little different from the other boys around me. My height didn't instantly shoot up. I grew little by little. My body didn't really get bigger. It was just my shoulders that got broad and my limbs seemed to be the only thing growing besides my penis. My voice, however, caught on real fast. And, though I could never grow a beard, not that I wanted to, the blonde bush above my manhood often needed trimming.

All of that wasn't a real problem. I was rather comfortable with my body and already used to grooming myself very carefully. So I did alright. What became a problem, however, was the way I looked at other boys. If I'd find one with a nice round face, sexy messy hair, a broader chest than my own, larger hands, I'd just find myself sweating, biting my lip, legs clenched tightly together.

I am so fucking gay.

And being gay isn't the problem. The problem was the insane reactions I'd get to seeing someone I thought was attractive. Thankfully, most people attributed it to my personality and thought nothing of it. But I knew….I could feel the fire in my chest.

But no guy I had ever met could ignite my fire like he did….he meaning Matt, the redhead next door. The second my eyes would fall on him it'd be like a nuclear explosion and a crash of an icy cold wave at the same time. Smoke would rise, hissing on my skin. A small sideways smile would plaster itself on my face.

You'd think with all that reaction every time I see him, I would've either had him or made an embarrassing mess of myself in front of him but neither is true. For, you see, I am Mello and it takes more than apocalypse to get me to make a move around my Matt.

I'd like to say that proudly but quite frankly I say it with a bit of regret. For it isn't true.

The truth is Matt never looks at me….I mean he does look at me. But he'd rather have his eyes on girls….or video games. It's the sad truth. The guy I've been crushing so hard [oh so hard] on for a year isn't playing on my team.

He's my best friend, though. Go on say it! "Friendzooooned!" Have you had your fun yet?

It matters little now because I've spent the past three months trying to get over him and you know what? Soon I will be over him. And that'd be the end of this chapter of my life. And I'd finally give more of my attention to more promising endeavors of messy hair and broad shoulders.

But until then, I'm stuck with this redhead….the redhead that's seated before me, fidgeting with his thumbs, frowning and trying hard to spit something out.

"Would you say it already?" I urge.

"I'm trying!" He whines, looks up at me. I instinctively bite the inside of my lip. "I'm scared you'll get pissed."

I frown. "I will if you sit there and say nothing." I wave a hand between us. "So you've got a pissed Mello on your hands either way."

"It's just a rumor I heard." He fidgets and shakes his head. His hair shakes with his head, fire on wind. Oh fuck me already.

"Tell me, Matt."

He takes a deep breath, runs a hand through his hair, big hands, messy hair. My legs clench together. "Alright." He says. "I just want the truth, okay? So I….just want to know if it's true or not."

I nod. He has heard a rumor about me, one that has been bugging him for a while. He wants things cleared out. I'm willing to indulge.

"I heard…" He hesitantly looks at me through green eyes, afraid of my fits of rage. "I heard…you've been sleeping around."

My shoulders slump. An unimpressed look washes over my face. He doesn't know what all I've done to get over him. Sleeping around is the one thing that works best.

"It's true." I tell him. I lie back on the cotton sheets of my bed. The sun pours through my window onto my skin, setting it ablaze. I bite my lip. Puberty is weird. Do I want to fuck the sun or fuck Matt in the sun? I don't know.

I look at him. He's frowning, staring at the floor. He can't believe it? Should I be making this easier on him?

"So it's true." He looks up at me. I burn hotter than the sun. He frowns again, shakes his head. God that fucking hair! "I-" He bites his lip. I prop myself up on my elbow. He's bewildered. "Who?...Who've..?...Who is it?"

I smile. "You want to know who I've slept with?" I look at him from the corners of my eyes. Are you sure you want to imagine me that way, Matt? Can your straight as fuck brain handle it?

He nods, looks at me.

I sigh, run a finger lightly over my thigh, over the curve of my hips.

"You know Stan from down the hall?" His eyes are wide. I flash him a sideward smile, drooped lids, wet lips. "He was the first." His brow cocks. I want to tell him I'd rather have had him as my first. Oh I'd have given anything for him to be Stan. But the boy is straight. And I need to move the fuck on. "I wanted to explore my sexuality." My back hits the cotton sheets again. I stretch my arms. In effect, my shirt pulls upwards, baring my belly till right above my navel. It's okay…I'm comfortable. "Y'know? I wanted to see what it felt like…what sex felt like. He thought he was gay but he wasn't sure. So he wanted to check. It felt like a good bargain at the time." I glance at him. He's staring, unblinking. "Little did I know the twerp would get so serious about it. He claims he loves me. I told him beforehand. No feelings involved I had told him. But no, the idiot didn't listen."

He frowns, nods. I wish I knew what he was thinking. But sometimes he gets so silent and I get so insecure.

"The second one," I continue, looking up at the ceiling, stretching two fingers at it. "Was Ted."

His face shoots up. I look at him from the corners of my eyes.

"Ted?" He gawks, eyes wide. His upper lip curls slightly upwards. It's disgust. I know it is, despite his efforts to conceal it. "The guy at the public library downtown?"

I nod.

"He's like six years older than you, Mell!" Definite disgust. "He's in college Mello!"

"So what?" I whine, frown, sit up to defend my choices. My knees are against his. "I know he's older. And that's why I picked him. He has more experience." I give him a flirtatious smile, head leaning towards my shoulder, lower lip lightly tucked between my teeth. "And boy is he more experienced." I giggle, cock a brow. "Matt, he knew just what to do. I'd never had such an insane orgasm with Stan. So glad I decided to let him. I mean it was always obvious he liked having me around, the way he was always eyeing me." I punch his shoulder. "Gosh, Matt, older boys are the best."

He's staring. He can barely believe I'm saying what I'm saying. He's my best friend. I have no intentions of hiding who I am from him.

"And the third one was-"

"There's more?" He roars. He looks absolutely out of it now.

"You wanted the truth." I frown. "So yes, the third one was Dimitri."

His hand smacks his face. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no!" He looks at me through his fingers. "The foreign substitute teacher?"

I nod.

His back slumps.

"Be glad he's gone, Matt." I tell him. "That guy was a perv. I mean I knew he was into some weird shit. And I thought, hey, he's older and into something different. Let's see if I'll enjoy it or not."

Another hand smacks against Matt's face.

"I did not enjoy that, I assure you." I point a finger at him. "He's sick in the head and it's a blessing Wammy got rid of him."

"That's enough, Mell." His voice is small, defeated, annoyed, angered. What the hell did I do? I frown, annoyed now. It's his fault anyways. If he'd just take me, keep me, fuck me whatever way he wants to, I wouldn't have to run amuck with my needs.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask. My lips curl upwards in my hatred for his reactions. "You wanted the truth, didn't you? Here it is!" I pull his hands away from his face. "Is it too bitter for you to swallow?"

"Yes." He whispers. He's disgusted with me.

"What? Is it that I'm gay?" I hiss. "Well you're the only one blind enough not to see that."

"No." His green eyes glare at me. "It's not that you're gay." He gets up. "It's that I thought you had more respect for yourself than to throw yourself at every guy that gives you a second glance."

I shoot off my bed, fists clenched. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm trying to learn as much as I can." I yell. "Well forgive me for wanting to be good in bed."

"It's not that you want to be good at it, Mell." His back is towards me. He's halfway to the door. "You're Mello. You'd obviously want to be good at it. It's that the guys you've given yourself to might not share the respect you have for yourself. They might think of you as nothing more than a good fuck."

"What do you know about that?" I laugh at him. "You're a fucking virgin! You can't tell a good fuck from a bad one!" I run a hand through my hair. "You know what? I hope you stay this way, inexperienced like a little kid. And then you find someone you really want to be with. And I hope you make it. And I hope they leave you, utterly dissatisfied with your skills and your cock!"

He walks towards the door. I'm fuming behind him. Say something! Don't just walk away!

He stops in the door frame.

"Yes." He barely looks at me when he says it. His hand is on my door frame, big strong hands. I'd do anything to have those hands on me. It's not lust with Matt. It's everything about him. He isn't just some guy eyeing me from across the room. He seems to care about me, about what people think of me. So he keeps tabs with the rumors. He's such a good guy. And I hate him so. "Yes, Mello." He repeats. "I'm sure the person I want to be with wouldn't be satisfied with me." His eyes meet mine.

I swallow my anger. "Do yourself a favor and find someone to fuck." I tell him. "It shouldn't be difficult for you. I see so many girls eyeing you." Oh so fucking many. "It's a miracle you're still a virgin. What's taking you so long anyways?"

His eyes fall on the doorframe again. "I was waiting." He says. "For the guy who's busy fucking people with more experience."

He leaves. I stand there, pride shattered, anger fallen through the floor, eyes wide in disbelief.

How was I supposed to know?

**The End**


End file.
